Correction to my previous post of writer advice:
Don’t give your sister your half-edited MS to read
with the instructions, “Don’t read it if you find yourself saying, ‘I really need to finish this for my sister.’ Just give it back and tell me the truth.” unless she happens to be a thorough, thoughtful type who is willing to tell you honestly that some parts “feel forced; and I know what you’re thinking, but you’re not going for realism. It’s fantasy, after all.”
If she’s ready to bleed red ink on your tendency to drift into conversational slang in one section and verge on purple prose in the next, then hand that sister your manuscript.
She’s actually halfway through the book! She says the story is interesting. She says there are parts where she can tell I’ve really found my stride. I didn’t ask her how few those were.