The Query Beast & the Pitiless Synopsis

I grabbed a copy of Writer’s Market in diligent anticipation of something wonderful happening to my manuscript. I had the impression WM was more of an instruction manual for building a catapult that would launch my book into some bookmaker’s factory, where it would serendipitously deposit it for cloning, duplicating hardbound editions of my lovely child of script to reach millions of consumers, one delicious copy at a time. But no, Writer’s Market had the audacity to be realistic and list all these weird, freakish tasks for me to do. I feel like I’m applying for knighthood here or embarking, like Jason, on the maiden voyage to return with the Golden Contract, taking on the Query, the Summary and the formidable Synopsis in just the first leg of the quest.

Ship Garthsnaid, ca 1920s

Before now I’d only heard about the Synopsis, the Greek monster found near the churning Charybdis of Literary Works that Failed. Her ghastly, steely teeth take your beautiful creation and smash it down to 5-ish pages; her razor-sharp scales torture and twist it into 3 helpless sheets to the wind; and her five hundred lashing tails chop and mutilate it into 1 to 1 ½ pages of ground up chicken feed. She knows no mercy. She returns to finish the job, leaving you with a huddled, whimpering paragraph. That’s the Synopsis. Don’t be confused by her sister, Summary, who lures you in with her wily vices, telling you, “This is just a teaser.”

Yeah, I’m still trying to write a one-paragraph synopsis of my story. I return again and again and can’t seem to conquer it. Of course, I will be diplomatic when sending it to the literary agent. My query letter will say something like, “Oh, that was so much fun! You’re fabulous for wanting me to send you this synopsis! Can I grovel at your feet to read my manuscript? Thanks!”

And yes, you read correctly; the singular of ‘agents’ is ‘agent.’ I have only mustered the courage to send a query to one agent. I might as well drown in the aftermath of the Synopsis.

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Author: Rilla Z

I'm a scribbler. I'm genuine. Sometimes I'm too genuine. My topics of interest are: this world, the worlds inside my head, and the world to come. Oh, and cups of tea. Yes, I write about my cups of tea.

3 thoughts on “The Query Beast & the Pitiless Synopsis”

  1. I shuddered a little just reading this; if there’s one thing that scares me when I write my novel, it’s imagining it being finished and having to do all of the things you described (although I’m not usually so eloquent in my fear). Still, you love your book, even when you hate it, right? You’ve poured so much love and frustration into the effort; it deserves a larger audience! Yes, very likely, someone will say no, but someone might say yes, too, or give you tips about how you can make your novel even better. You’ll never know unless you try…

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  2. Keep on trying. The wise and discerning agent/publisher is out there, just waiting to read your work. In the meantime, your writing will only get better.

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