Um…I’m Thinking Buffet

It’s National Buffet Day!

Don’t go crazy.

Keep calm.

Walk slowly up to the buffet line, or people will think they’ve refilled the pan of steamed crab legs and start a stampede.

Do not put your head under the glass. It’s see-through for a reason.

Do not leave your kid unattended. Attend him as he sticks his fingers in the Jello. It’s a rite of passage; you used to do it, too.

Always get a clean plate when returning to the buffet. That’s right; just wipe that morsel of dishwasher grit off the plate with your shirt.

Refrain from the temptation of getting the soup because that woman with the fake eyelashes just sneezed over it. Yeah, we’re all pretending we didn’t see it, either.

And don’t hover. It’s rude.

Celebrate Buffet Day with me with this old Rhett and Link ditty:

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Happy Copyrighting!

I looked up January holidays and wacky observances—‘cause I like that kind of stuff—and I learned that today is Copyright Law Day. I had no idea we celebrated this. Did you? And, hey, Copyright Law is definitely something I appreciate! So, yay for copyrighting! And yay for everybody who remembers how to spell ‘copyright’ correctly. I don’t always. It’s like ‘sleight,’ as in ‘sleight of hand.’ I want to pronounce it “slayt.” I can’t help it. Or ‘bear’ in ‘bear with me.’ Isn’t that a grumpy animal that can kill you with one powerful swipe of his claw? Please don’t bear with me that way.

U.S. Copyright Law states that your work is your intellectual property. The law discourages the copying of your work, but it doesn’t enforce anything if it’s stolen. For this reason writers take the precautionary step of formally registering their manuscripts with the U.S. Copyright Office before they begin the query process. I’m not going to pretend to know what’s the best practice, but it seems to me that expenses could pile up if the writer decides to change the manuscript, say, 4,000 times. (I’m on my 1,346th draft—just thinking out loud here.) So, how does that work exactly? Do you just register manuscript amendments? [Amendment 53,602: Cedric is not the bad guy anymore. He was framed by Phyllis, who is now mentally unstable (see Amendment 49,979) due to the demise of her brother, Mark (see Amendment 49,733) when the Ferris Wheel exploded (see Amendment 12,022).]

It’s a risky business writing amazing things down that people can steal. *Sigh* It’s a risk I face daily. That brings me to a quote for the day: “With great imagination comes great delusion.” I hope nobody else said that. I’m thinking of copyrighting it.

In other news, Earth’s perihelion occurs at 11:00 p.m. tonight where I am! I’m going to celebrate it by sleeping.