New Device Phobia

There are moments in my life when the technoflop in me leaps out in all her spandex and tinfoil brilliance, and I just want to crawl under a rock, refusing all digital modes of communication. Yes, I got a new laptop. The moment I saw the matte black surface, still in its plastic, something in me cringed and started sucking its thumb.

“Do I really want to do this to myself?” I thought, thanking my husband profusely. (First World ingrate here.)

I bravely took on the beast…on day 3. It was right after Realm asked, “Have you even turned it on?”

I just laughed. “I keep meaning to,” I told him. Inside I was crying, ‘No! No, I haven’t turned it on! That would require courage comparable to storming the living room and taking down the Christmas tree!’

I turned it on and found it wanted to get to know a little bit about me: my name, my occupation, my shoe size, any moles or important identifying marks… I tried to be open and answer all the questions honestly. After all, we would be friends for some time, providing I made it through the setup wizard.

The questions became more restrictive after that: Did I have an Outlook email address? I took the “alternative email” option, which it accepted for about three seconds, then returned me to the Outlook email prompt. Twice.

‘Fine, I’ll register for your sponsor’s account. Satisfied?’ I thought. Because, hey, I can always use an extra email account! I only have 306.

Armed with my new Outlook account, I entered the inner sanctum, the desktop. Oooooh, ahhhh. I was enthralled for a full ten minutes before I discovered how much I hate Windows 8.

1024px-Blue_Screen_of_DeathI was in the midst of giving my new laptop a gentle facelift when it happened. My laptop decided to update and needed to restart. So it restarted, I swirled the touchpad to enter my password, and it blue-screened me. Yes, it wielded the blue screen of death with its simpering frown-y face, informing me it would restart again after a few corrections. The cycle of powerlessness had begun.

I sparred with that patronizing blue screen for a few days. I learned a lot of new things about the virtual innards of my laptop. Had the blue screen continued, I would have become well acquainted with its actual innards. In that time my laptop began to take on a personality. At first it was smug, rejecting my “foreign” email address; then it was sullen because I ditched its ready-to-go software and changed its boot-up preferences. It became downright malicious when I installed open source—not open source! For shame!—software. The white frown-y face stared at me, impassive, but I didn’t flinch.

“You will not sabotage this relationship, Wizfect,” I whispered to it late into the night after the fortieth reboot.

It seems Wizfect the Laptop has a sensitive touchpad and didn’t want me to know. Since I have always found the touchpad an annoying bane of smooth typing, I had no qualms about disabling it. I think that’s when Wizfect began to learn to trust me. I have no doubt we’ll be making great stories together.

Author: Rilla Z

I'm a scribbler. I'm genuine. My topics of interest are: this world, the worlds inside my head, and the world to come. Oh, and cups of tea. Yes, I write about my cups of tea.

12 thoughts on “New Device Phobia”

  1. It’s always daunting when we get a new piece of technology hardware, especially when the operating system changes. I’m not looking forward to when I have to leave Windows 7. It’s been good to me. 🙂 Have fun playing around with your new ‘toy’!


  2. New tech scares me, too. That’s probably why I do so little with my new iPad mini and have yet to get a smart phone. Hang in there, though. Sounds like you have it on the ropes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I told Realm I want to take some tech courses (mainly for web design). Don’t know when I can find the time and money for it, but I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for online opportunities.


  3. I do love new tech but find it a pain when they misbehave. I have an iPad and iPhone plus the pc running Windows 7. I abhor having to move to Windows 8…7 was bad enough but finally learned same.
    iPad mini has decided to just stop. I have to turn it off and then turn it back on again to reboot. I have learned to dislike it very much. The iPhone 6+ is much better.


  4. I have the same problem. I like my gizmos, once I get used to them, but I never use them to their full potential. I learn just enough to get by and do what I want to do. (Actually, it sounds like you are better in that area than I am) I had to seriously consider a smart phone a couple of years ago when my husband offered me one for my birthday. At first I hated it, but now I would go into withdrawal without it.


  5. My husband’s computer has 8, and we both detest it. Rumor has it that “9” will be more like 7, so I’m hoping my 4-year-old laptop keeps going strong for a few more years. If not, I may break down and pay for a business-oriented model that will keep running 7 for a few more years!

    Be strong, and show that computer who’s boss!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Rilla Z Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s