I’ve noticed a pattern with my friends’ texts. Maybe you’ve noticed these little texting habits, too. Here are seven types of texters:
Wanda the Winker 😉 My friend Wanda winks all the time. She winks in FB comments and blog comments. She winks in text conversations with me just as often. Winks are her thing, but she doesn’t wink when we’re face to face. Basically, Wanda has found a humorous and affectionate way to say, “I have it under control.” Folks who like to use winks often like to be seen as confident, got-it-together people. Text winkers need to surround themselves with people who rely on them and confide in them.
If you have a winker friend, there are some great ways to feed their need. First, let them know how much their efforts mean to you. Let them know what they do for you doesn’t go unnoticed. Praise their skills and assistance—appreciate them in the context of what they do. Second, give them opportunities to be there for you. If you find it hard to lean on others, you don’t have to step out of your comfort zone with Wanda. She will be just as happy to give you emotional support as she would be to get all up in your business.
Warning: Winkers can be pushy and try to advise you on things you don’t want to be advised on; but if you give them good boundaries, they will generally appreciate you for giving them guidelines they can clearly work within to strength your relationship.
Exclamatory Lori Exclamation marks after every sentence? Wow! Fun! Folks who like to use exclamation marks like to be seen as upbeat and positive. They prefer to keep their problems to themselves, keeping folks at arms distance when they are struggling. Loris exude lots of joy and good vibes. That’s her specialty, so let her work her magic.
If you are good friends with a Lori texter, you will know when she’s faking her excitement and having a hard time. The best way you can help her out is not to let on. Lori texters like to work through the hard times with very few questions. Don’t prod them about their problems; they’ll confide when they’re ready. (And it will probably not be through texts.) So, be the patient friend who checks in without pressuring her to confide. Keep it on the surface; send funny memes to let her know you’re thinking of her while she’s working through things.
Warning – A Lori texter is easy to lose when the hard times come for her. She will push you away, and, later, be upset with you for not being there for her.
Too-Busy Bella 🤪 This type of texter is best explained by the character Patricia Heaton plays on Moms’ Night Out, when she tries to send instructions to her daughter and ends up telling her to eat some “Chicken Poodle Poop.” Autocorrect is not Bella’s friend, and she tends to write a bunch of these nonsense texts. It’s not because she’s technologically challenged; rather, she’s in a hurry and doesn’t find it worth her time to review the message before she sends it. Bellas love to be busy and look busy and breathe busy. They might not know how to tell you what they need by text, but they’re not shy. They’ll crank out a few more nonsense phrases so you can use them as a cipher to solve the mystery of your Bella’s situation.
Bellas like helpers. If you want a little crazy in your life, and don’t mind dropping everything for a Bella, these friends can be fun and spontaneous. They tend to leap from idea to idea, which doesn’t make them the best conversationalists. While you may never feel a close rapport with Bella texters, the nice thing about them is hard feelings will often dissipate quickly. Most Bella texters don’t have time for grudges. Texting with them will be brief and probably humorous. They try to be supportive and tend to pick up where they left off in relationships.
Warning: Your Bella’s “getter done” mentality can lead you into filling in her blanks and completing her half-started jobs. Don’t let this texter rope you into a fulltime position of working for her. She runs many businesses, and you might find it hard to live your life and run her errands.
Smiley, Heart, Heart Hannah 😍 Hannah texters use a ton of emoticons in their texts. Most of these texters just like the variety, but some of them really find it difficult to say all the things they want to say. So, you’ll get an animated sticker instead!
The best way to communicate with a Hannah texter is to send her love, lots of love. Respond with emojis, and she will understand you just fine.
Warning: If a Smiley, Heart, Heart Hannah is upset with you, her emojis will show it. She will send little faces at intervals—some sad, some funny—after you’ve left off texting for a while. She’s letting you know she’s still feeling her sad feelings, and she doesn’t like that at all.
Vampire Violet Unless this texter is young, she isn’t much fun. Violets will text you with questions like, “What are you doing?” Or they might not try at all and just type, “Hey.” Adults who send these texts are expecting you to carry the conversation; and, chances are, you are not dealing with an emotionally mature individual. These texters need a source—a source of amusement, mainly. When they chose you as a source, you need to know what your text response does to them. Every time you respond, dopamine shoots through Vampire Violet’s system. She gets a little high from the attention. It has nothing to do with what you text back, it has to do with her need to feel better about herself. Violet texters are not usually aware of what’s going on. From their point of view, they are keeping in touch with their friends.
For Violets who are not the unhealthy, needy sort—think friends with mental disabilities and kids—responding to their texts can bring a ton of good feeling. Just be sure not to enable your friend when her texts are coming in All. The. Time. Instead of texting, send her a card. That way you are showing her you care without feeding her addiction.
Warning: Vampire Violets feed insatiably on crises. They will create one if they think it will benefit their need.
Last-word Lucy Don’t you love that texter who cannot leave that goodbye text alone? She must add another heart or respond with one last thumbs-up. Last-word Lucy is not trying to be controlling. Lucys are highly sensitive friends who take their job of communicating very seriously. Last-word Lucy thrives on knowing she “gets” you, and her goal is to show you that you’re worth her time. Your friendship means so much to this texter, and she wants to be sure to show you by approving every text, carefully and conscientiously. Lucy texters want to be seen as the givers, and they enjoy the feeling of knowing they’ve given all they can give. (This is a dreadful match with a Vampire Violet because there is no end to the giving, and it ruins Last-word Lucy’s perception of herself.) Lucys will expend great amounts of energy on the soul who won’t squander or belittle their talent to care.
The best thing you can do for these texting friends is keep connected. Sprinkle them with honest, affirming thoughts you are thinking about them throughout the week and your friendship will bloom and thrive. The hardest thing for a Lucy is when there’s a conversation dry spell. They can need a spill-your-guts fest to know they are caring about you properly after a dry spell occurs.
Warning: Last-word Lucys can feel neglected easily and will get offended without telling you. If she complains about always having to initiate the conversation, she’s telling you she needs you to give more than you are giving. It’s up to you to decide how much you are willing to give.
And last, there is
Novel Nelly We all have that friend who can’t text without giving you a lengthy explanation. If you don’t have a Nelly in your life, we need to be texting buddies because I’m a Nelly texter. Nelly texters need to be understood and feel listened to. Their long-winded spiels are not meant to exasperate you; this is how they say, “I’ve thought about this, and here is what I’ve concluded.” Novel Nellys like to be seen as informative and helpful.
The best thing you can do for a Novel Nelly is make it clear you understand by repeating her thoughts in your own words. Assure her by letting her know you appreciate her thoughtfulness and research. Nellys tend to apologize for their novels, so tell her when you thought the essay actually benefited you.
Warning: Nelly texters are extremely analytical and critical. They tend to read things into others’ texts that probably aren’t there at all. (They might even come up with a whole blog post about the way their friends text.)
So, now you have seven texting sorts you’ve probably met in your e-communication travels. Leave a line if you’ve thought of another!