Otherwise Entitled: Help

English: Ostrich
English: Ostrich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been digging a hole in the sand and burying my head in it long enough. This is gonna be a catch-up post, and I don’t like those. I’ve been up to too much, and I am soooo behind on everything I love!

What I love:

Planning the posts for this blog, writing my new children’s fic, and finishing the Dragonfly Prince sequel. (The dialogue is so funny!)

What I hate:

Crafting one and two-year old activities for my homeschool co-op class.

I detest crafty things. And, wow, I’ve forgotten what it was like to teach that age.

For five weeks I’ve been pickled in a preschool jar and trying to stay afloat on the home front. Realm says he’s proud of me. Anytime Realm says he’s proud of me it means he’s scared to death I’m going to start crying and blubbering against his shoulder again, begging him to be the bad guy and tell me he won’t let me do co-op anymore. But he knows better. He knows the moment the words come out of his mouth, I’ll look up, wiping the snot from under my nose with the back of my hand, and say, “Are you serious? But I’m not sure I want you to put your foot down!”

And I don’t. I don’t want to give up. I’ve been planning for this class since May. I had grand dreams back then. Curious future Einsteins and Jane Goodalls would toddle to their stations and develop amazing critical thinking skills with the use of paint, play dough, and some clothespins. Montessori lives! But then they started chewing the paint brushes, and the play dough became a glob of drool (and, to tell the truth, some of it was missing). I reevaluated. It went like this:

“This isn’t working. I think cages would be better for these creatures.”

That’s when I gave up on the blue and red-dyed ice cubes and the alphabet magnets hiding in the bucket of beans.

“Let’s think harnesses,” I told my helper. “Let’s think duct tape.” She totally didn’t get what I was going for, but that’s okay. I need to save the rope and duct tape. By the end of this year of co-op, I’ll need them for my cushioned one-man room with the sign that says “Rilla is away on vacay! Don’t knock.”

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I Wrote the Handbook

I’ve been doing some odd-job writing lately, like a handbook for our homeschooling co-op. I jumped at the chance to write it. The looks I received made me wonder if I had fuzzy antennae on my head. I did, so I took them off. Still, it occurred to me that writing a mission statement, requirements, and policies aren’t something most people like to do. So, I asked myself the question, “Why did I want to write this handbook?”

The diplomatic answer? I like details and structure. I was a receptionist for an architect/engineering firm when I was 19. It was okay, but I wanted to do more than answer the phone and greet people. So, they let me type up specs. I loved typing up the specs! Requirements down to 1/64 of an inch? How wonderful!

Finger pointing
Finger pointing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The real answer? I’m bossy, and writing a handbook is being bossy on paper. Have you ever read a student or an employee handbook and wondered about the writers of that handbook? Mostly, I’ve just wondered how they missed those typos. Now that I’m in the writer’s seat, I wonder if they rub their hands together and laugh maniacally while they work. I do. Mwahahahaha!

On the down side, guess who gets blamed when the handbook doesn’t fit the situation? 😦 Ah, the pitfalls of dictating policy. *sigh*