I Knew Watching “The Price is Right” Would Come In Handy

There’s this “Versatile Blogger” award. Have you heard of it? Last month, Sally from The Digital Bookshelf and Carrie from The Write Transition informed me of their kind nominations of my blog for this award. I want to give a hearty thanks for their time and efforts in considering me, but I’m perplexed. I write about writing. That has to be one of the most unversatile subjects known to blogging. Is there a Nonversatility Award? Just wondering. – No! I’m not wondering, not wondering at all. Forget I said that.

It’s my opinion that Versatile blog posts would go something this:

“I was contemplating Plato’s Meno while clipping my toenails this morning…”

“Today, the raindrops merging on the windowpane created an exact replica of Conan O’Brien’s hair logo. I think it’s a sign…”

“I create my own eucalyptus-guava scented candles and want to tell you how I make them in bulk…”

“I just found out I have gingivitis. Have you ever considered the analogies that can be drawn from this discovery? For one, unhealthy gums are a haven for germs and disease, kind of like unhealthy relationships…”

For more illustrations, peruse the WordPress blogs under the topic, ‘musings.’ They’re fun. Some posts even resemble therapy by proxy. Of course, I promptly leave my advice. I’m glad to share my words of wisdom. I have lots of words to share. The wisdom? Meh.

On the heels of the Versatile blogger nominations, I received another nomination for the 7×7 Link award from the generous jmmcdowell. Three lovely compliments in such a short amount of time! I feel embarrassed, considering this is my 14th post on WordPress.

At the same time I’m reminded of that kitchen hand towel chain-letter that is supposed to heap upon you terry piles of steaming coffee cup, chili pepper, and Italian bistro cheeriness. I fear an epidemic, widespread panic. I’d be biting my nails if I weren’t typing this. I’m going to go deep into the recesses of my memory to recall the words of Bob Barker. (Okay, so Drew Carey says it, too.) Friends, I think nominations may need to be spayed or neutered to control the award population. I’ll be sacrificial about the whole thing and deny myself the delight of decorating my blog’s side columns with additional, pretty award logos in hopes that it will appease those lofty award-inventors.

And I do appreciate the accolades! Truly… much more than my collection of fat, mustachioed Italian chefs, whose smiling faces I wipe my wet hands on.