Since getting my smart phone, I’ve been playing lots of Words With Friends. I don’t play my friends because I’m embarrassed at how terrible I am at the game. I’ve played, oh, about 30-50 games against Realm. I’ve won one game. One.
The resulting ego plunge has left me less than confident in my vocabulary skills. (Disclaimer: Though I recognize a ton of words and know their meanings, I cannot pronounce them properly to save my life. I’d blame this on society, but Dictionary.com provides an icon to listen to any word you look up…which I forget to use.) I mean, how can a writer who knows the correct spelling of omphaloskepsis go wrong? I think the answer lies in the amassing of little-known two and three-letter words, such as “qi” and “xu” and “qat.” My mom, whom I have yet to beat, uses the ingenious method of placing random letters together until she comes up with something like “vang” for an astronomical amount of points. Then she messages me, “I didn’t know that was a word!” Yeah, play innocent, Mom.
Realm knows I’m playing for serious. I want to beat him so badly. So, he’ll tease me while I’m making dinner.
“I played. Just to warn you, this one’s brutal.”
I let the green beans burn to check my board. Yep, he played “brutal.”
I’m desperate to master the skill of winning WWF. As hard as I try, I can’t seem to place my tiles on the right squares and find that perfect two-letter combination. And I don’t want to think about the time I waste on this ridiculous game, shuffling tiles and dragging and dropping nonsense combinations on squares. The blip of the “not an acceptable word” replays over and over in my ears as I try to come up with something remotely close to 10 points, a feat that draws me nowhere near Realm’s 60+ point lead. I think I’d fare better staring at my bellybutton in mystical contemplation of the cosmos. (In case you’re wondering, I pronounce it “cause-moss” now. Thank you, Joe Kurtenbach, for clearing that up in your post last week.)
One good thing could come of this. If I learn enough of these two-letter babies, they could replace the longer ones in my manuscript, reducing the word count considerably! I’ll be one with qi then.
Rilla Writer 
I used to be able to beat Doc at Scrabble early in our marriage. When he got to the point that he was winning most of the time, somehow the game wasn’t as fun for me. We haven’t played in ages. Maybe I’ll challenge him to a game this weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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Yes do. I’m hoping you beat him!
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Thank you ever so kindly for the mention — my own posts have been so scant for so long it’s a pleasant surprise to get the shout-out. Yeah, I know, all I need to do is post more and more good vibes will come my way. In the meantime, though, I do appreciate your good vibes.
I’ve never played Words With Friends. It seems so hard to even contemplate playing any computer game/mobile app except Freecell solitaire. Perhaps it’s getting about time I take that first step and admit I have a problem.
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Your creative posts keep me smiling! As far as blogging regularly goes, sometimes I can’t wait to post, and other times it’s a painstaking, brain-scrambling ordeal. So, I get it.
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Ah, it’s a good thing that I haven’t taken to playing this game. I suspect I wouldn’t get any writing done at all!
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Exactly.
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Ooh, Words w/Friends. I have a friend who has sent me two requests lately to play. For the longest time I meant to look up instructions. I did, actually, I just never took the time to read them. Therefore, I can’t play if I don’t know the rules. I am a rules person. But, I think I haven’t played because I’m more like you. I don’t think I can play with people. I do think, though, it would be better to play with family members. I may get around to it eventually. But, good for you.
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When I first started, I downloaded an app that let me enter in the letters I had to suggest my best plays. Realm saw it and refused to play with me unless I quit cheating. Heh.
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I love the irony of downloading “Words With Friends” and immediately admitting that you don’t play it with friends.
Also, I’m like you when it comes to pronunciation. I just heard someone say “Prevalent” a few days ago and was shocked to find out it wasn’t pronounced “Pre-vay-lent.”
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What? Great. Next thing you’ll be telling me ‘homage’ isn’t pronounced, “home-udge.” Sigh. 🙂 Nice to meet you, Daniel.
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